Lori and I have discussed it many times with each other and with other people as well. I'm not exactly sure Lori even understands me completely to this day. The biggest question I get from Lori is "How can you love me and want to see me with another man".
I have tried to explain this to her many times and in general what I try to get through to her is this.
I LOVE seeing her exited, seeing her happy, seeing her passionate and lustful. In the beginning of our relationship, we did have the exitement, passion, lust and great sex. Over the years, it has definitely cooled. I still don't feel like I can get her exited and passionate about making love to me, even though sometimes we do have pretty great sex. I also get turned on by seeing her turned on, and when she's just met a guy she really likes and just getting into kissing him, or making love to him, her excitement level and passion is through the roof sometimes. THIS is what it is all about for me. Seeing her have that passion and excitement.
I don't see how that would make her think I didn't love her. The analogy falls apart in that, nothing happened to me or us. We could still have great sex except, we don't seem to. I think the chemicals that make sex great wear off after a while and you're left with just going through the motions. I'd LOVE to do wild and crazy stuff with my wife, we just never seem to get there. And, with Lori, this lifestyle I think is what keeps her interested in sex, otherwise, I think it she would still have sex with me, but it would be doing her wifely duties and it would be maybe once per week and it would be the typical, OK, lets screw, is it over yet, great. Thanks. (sometimes it's like that with us anyway) That type of sex life isn't overly appealing to me and Lori isn't all that exited in that as well.
Somewhere along the line, we started masturbating together. She'd lie next to me with her vibrator and we'd both do ourselves. During this time, we'd talk about our fantasies and this lifestyle was always the fantasy. (or almost always the fantasy) We decided to stop just talking about it and go do it. We're glad we did!
So, maybe you understand that, - but a big question which still perplexes Lori is, why would I want to be a cuckold. I'm not sure I even want that, and in the actual sense of the word, I already am. She has sex with other men, I know about it and allow it. But the general perception of what a cuckold is goes further. It's like the kinsey scale, you can be mildly cuckold, or you can be full blown cuckold. I'd say I'm a little more than mild, but definitely not full blown.
I have no interest in being degraded, I just love her being so into another guy, so turned on by him that she only wants to have sex with him. We began talking about that and it seems to be the next logical step. In this lifestyle, I think people always look for what's even hotter. For me, her getting so into someone and denying me sex, or not wanting sex with me, for some reason turns me on like crazy! Of course, then I want to have sex with her even more. I'm not looking for her to just go, sorry, not interested in you anymore, I'm looking for more of a teasing situation. I guess that's where the fun is in me, and that she does of course help me cum by getting naked with me, telling me how much she loves fucking her boyfriend and making me do myself.
We HAVE had this situation twice now, both with the same boyfriend, but it didn't last. Each time things get difficult, usually it's me. I don't think she has any problem with not wanting sex with me, but for me, I want to know it's the truth and not her just saying it. The first time, it was totally believable, and I think it was the truth. But we travelled back to our other house, and wound up making love and getting back to normal.
The second time, she was getting all hot and heavy with her boyfriend, we started talking about it again and she admitted she only wanted to have sex with him, BUT, I could tell she wasn't into him as much. He was having some issues with his wife and pulling back, and Lori was geting frustrated with him. She was definitely just saying it to get me excited, which just confused me. The last thig I want is for her to not want sex with me because I just don't turn her on. I want it to happen only because someone turns her on so much that's all she wants.
I'm sure we'll get there agian. We just talked about it two nights ago (while doing ourselves), and she assures me she wants to have that hot passionate affair, one where she gets so into the guy that he's all she wants.
I agreed that I want the same thing for her.
SO, we'll see where it goes. Hopefully soon I'll be writing about how she's so into him (maybe her current boyfriend even) that she stopped wanting it with me.
That would be hot! We shall see.
There are definitely downsides to being in that position, maybe as many as the upsides, but I'll leave that to another post.
-Rich-
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